Big! Bitter! Babe!

Lolz Crabs?

2009-05-26T18:22:00.001-05:00

http://cheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=3047664

Deadliest Quotes

2009-05-08T00:38:00.001-05:00

*After fixing a jammed anchor line*

Mark: "We used Fred and Barney engineering."

Corey: "Yeah, we beat on it until it fucking started working!"

Mark Anderson (2nd from left) and Corey Eisenbarth (4th from left) deckhands on the F/V Cornelia Marie
Episode 3: Stay Focused or Die

Deadliest Quotes

2009-04-29T15:33:00.003-05:00

No fun quotes today.

Last night's episode focused on the search and rescue of survivors from the 93 foot cod processor and fishing vessel Katmai. The Katmai sank between the Bering Sea and the Pacific Ocean, about 100 miles west of Adak in the Aleutians on October 22, 2008. There were 11 precious souls on board. After abandoning their sinking vessel, Only 4 amazing souls survived after braving 15 grueling hours of clinging near death to a small, battered life raft in the middle of the frozen Bering Sea.

Fighting hypothermia and despair the survivors were lifted from the sea at about 4:30 p.m by the United States Coast Guard. Weather conditions were reported during the search of 50-knot winds from the north (1 knot = 1.15 Mph) waves of17 feet and visibility of merely 3 miles. Two life rafts were deployed from the sinking ship, however only 1 was ever recovered. All of the bodies of the 7 men who perished in the disaster were recovered, except for 2. The Bering Sea will forever remain their final resting place.

I admire the strength and courage of the surviving men who graciously allowed themselves to be interviewed by The Discovery Channel. Thank you for speaking to us. I thank them for reminding me of how precious life is and how quickly it can be stripped away. I admire their tears, pain, anger and love for their friends and family members who were lost that day. I send nothing but love to the families of those left behind. Please keep all of the crewmembers of the F/V Katmai in your prayers, for even those who survived have a long and painful journey ahead.

In loving memory:

Carlos Martin Zabala
30 Years Old, From Helena Washington (possibly Helena Montana)

Robert Davis
49Years Old, From Deming Washington

Cedric Smith
38 Years Old, From Portland Oregon

Glenn "Scooter" Harper
35 Years Old, From Portland Oregon

Jake Gilman
22 Years Old, From Camas Washington

Joshua Leonguerrero
19 Years Old, From Spanaway Washington

Fuli Lemusu
44 Years Old, From Salem Oregon

Deadliest Catch

2009-04-21T22:45:00.002-05:00

Season 5 has gotten off to a great start and the entire season this year should be as exciting and entertaining as ever. It seems like every year I walk away with a ton of great one liners from the men who brave the deadliest job in the world. To find humor in the face of terrifying seas, hard work and adversity is something we can all benefit from. I still find myself quoting Captain Phil Harris of the Fishing Vessel Cornelia Marie on stressful days: "It's going to be a heavy tobacco consumption day today, boy!" In celebration of keeping your chin up, I will be posting my favorite quotes from each week's episodes. It may be one or it may be many. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

Deadliest Quotes

2009-04-21T22:41:00.003-05:00

"I think his Depends is full and it's time for a new one, but he doesn't want to tell anyone he's gotta go change it. I think he forgot to take his Geritol this morning."

Mike Fourtner Deckhand of the F/V Time Bandit
Episode 2: Red Skies in the Morning

Deadliest Quotes

2009-04-21T22:38:00.003-05:00

"I'm gonna go take four Advil."

Nick Mavar Deckhand on F/V Northwestern
Episode 2: Red Skies in the Morning

Deadliest Quotes

2009-04-21T22:35:00.002-05:00

"Now my coffee tastes like Herring."

Sig Hansen Captain of the F/V Northwestern
Episode 1: Everything on the line

Rock and ...What!?

2009-04-06T23:38:00.002-05:00

The Frey
You Found Me

I found God on the corner of 1st and Amistad
Where the West was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where've you been?" He said, "Ask anything."

Where were you, when everything was falling apart.
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came
To the corner of 1st and Amistad

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

But in the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one who's ever known
Who I am, who I'm not and who I wanna to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

The early morning, the city breaks
And I've been calling for years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never sent me no letters
You got some kind of nerve taking all I want

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, Where were you? Where were you?

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

Why'd you have to wait, to find me, to find me?

*Yes, I placed some of the lyrics in bold on purpose*

04/14/2009 9 pm. Guess where I will be?

2009-04-06T23:32:00.001-05:00

I have been telling you for 4 seasons to watch. Season 5 starts soon, don't tell me I didn't give you a heads up!

Rock and ...What!?

2009-03-21T22:45:00.002-05:00

LOST
by: Coldplay

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost
Every river that you try to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing stops
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off..

Mental health

2009-03-14T13:04:00.002-05:00

Things have reached their breaking point with me. I am having a bit of an emotional breakdown and I can't promise when I will be back to update everyone. The only good thing I can tell you is that I am not suicidal, just very very sad. I may end up taking a leave of absence from work so that I can explore what is medically and/or mentally wrong with with me. This state of mind has been a long time brewing and I have finally given in.

I used to find solace writing about my feelings in my blog and what has me so upset with my life. However, it never really ended up helping. I am very unhappy with my job, however so many people are without one that I can't justify complaining. My life is better off than some, and I just can't express my pain in a public forum anymore because I am embarrassed that I can't get it together. No one wants to read someone complain all day long.

I always seem to have drama over the weekends and this is no different. I haven't left my apartment in 3 days, calling off work 2 of those days. Although the tears won't stop, I am dragging myself in today. Sunday will be spent researching doctors/therapists who can hopefully help me.

I appreciate everyone's love and support throughout the years. I will post with updates as much as I can. Don't call, only text message or e-mail as I am not up to talking. Please don't worry about me as I really hope that someday a lotus will bloom from all this muck and murk.

My parents had a baby!

2009-03-11T14:57:00.003-05:00

Well...a furry baby to be exact. They did what I never thought they would ever do and got themselves a puppy. Her name is Itsy Bitsy or "Bitsy" for short and she is a Shih Tzu. She isn't even 6 months old so she is very tiny and cute. These are some photos I took on my birthday vacation in February. That is, of course, my daddy. She is sleeping on his tummy, all curled up in the fleece Miss Piggy blankie my Mom made her. Bitsy has her stuffed teddy bear that she sleeps with all the time.

It has definitely livened things up in the household and gives my dad something to do all day since he no longer works. Mom is really wanting grand babies so this is the next best thing. I was worried about them getting a puppy and having the stress of doing all the training and what not. However, Bitsy is either a very smart individual or Shih Tzu's are a very smart breed. She knows to ring a little bell hanging from the doorknob when she needs to go outside. While I was there, I trained her to not chew my shoes and to not get in my face while I am trying to eat. She is currently learning how to come when called, which I am sure she will pick up quickly.

Lesson learned for Lothian: I do NOT want a puppy. They take a hell of a lot of patience and energy -- Two attributes I do not possess. Whenever I move somewhere that allows dogs, I will adopt an older friend.

Happy Valentines Day lover!

2009-02-14T12:39:00.000-05:00

Very interesting....

2009-02-09T22:01:00.004-05:00

I just got a letter from my insurance company. It sounds like the kid who hit me has yet to prove he has any insurance. They implied that they are going to begin proceedings to sue him and are hoping to also sue for my deductible. I find it interesting that he did not need to have proof of insurance when he contested his citation for failure to control. Am I the only one out there who thinks that since he couldn't show insurance at the time of the accident, that he would have to at traffic court? My gosh, the last speeding ticket I had I didn't have my insurance card on me and they were all over my shit trying to get a copy of it. The drama continues....

Rock and ...What!? (For my dearest, Ron)

2009-02-09T21:55:00.002-05:00

RAINY DAYS AND MONDAYS
THE CARPENTERS

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me.

What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

Feast or Famine

2009-01-25T16:15:00.002-05:00

For your reading pleasure (?) I have 4 new posts. Some are long, so don't forget to keep scrolling.

Thanks for reading!!

Nerd post.

2009-01-25T15:31:00.007-05:00

I almost jumped off the couch when I saw the commercial for the new Daniel Craig movie Defiance. I wasn't excited because I am a 007 fan -- I am indifferent to Daniel Craig as an actor. I am uber-excited because I am kind of a Holocaust and WWII history nerd. I knew almost immediately what the film was about and I desperately hope the movie does this true story justice. If you do anything this year, please find some time to educate yourself on the Jewish Resistance Movement during WWII. Learning about this forgotten aspect of history changed my life forever and I am so very proud and willing to share the limited knowledge I have. I hope to some way keep the memory of those who needlessly died alive, and to showcase the bravery and power of those who chose to flee to the forests and fight battle. I would like to provide you with some references that are great reads and great movies.

The first of many books I have read about the Jewish Resistance movement. It is an incredible book that is a fast and easy read. You will learn so much and will be motivated to learn more once you read this.
Excerpt from the blurb: "When the ghetto is liquidated, these three flee to the forests and fight alongside Russian and Polish partiasan groups -- dynamiting bridges, derailing trains, and destroying power plants and waterworks. Their actions eventually lead them down a winding path to Palestine, where a struggle for independence awaits the weary yet fiercely indomitable avengers."
Amazon reference: http://www.amazon.com/Avengers-Rich-Cohen/dp/0375705295

Don't get turned off by the fact that this film was a made for television miniseries. Don't let the fact that David Schwimmer has a small role in it discourage you -- he is incredibly good in this drama. This excellent film based on a true story shows the lengths that Jews went to "die with honor". It is simply an amazing movie and very much worth the rental. Plus, if you live in Columbus I will loan it to you.
IMDB Reference: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0250798/

I also have 3 book reads to suggest if you would like to know more about the people portrayed in the film Uprising.

Resistance: The Warsaw Ghetto Uprising by Israel Gutman.
Amazon reference: http://www.amazon.com/Resistance-Warsaw-Uprising-Israel-Gutman/dp/0395901308
Excerpt from back blurb: "A riveting history of the 1943 Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, informed by the renowned author's personal experience, Resistance is a behind-the-scenes story of how a group of relatively unarmed, untrained ghetto inhabitants managed to lead a military revolt against the Nazi war machine. A survivor of the battle, Israel Gutman draws on diaries, letters, and underground press reports to bring this epic event to life, showing, too, how a vibrant culture shaped the young fighters whose defiance would have a far-reaching implications for the Jewish people."

The Warsaw Diary of Adam Czerniakow edited by Raul Hilberg, Stanislaw Staron, and Josef Kermisz.
Amazon Reference: http://www.amazon.com/Warsaw-Diary-Adam-Czerniakow-Prelude/dp/1566632307
Excerpt from the back blurb: "Adam Czerniakow was a Polish Jew who killed himself on July 23, 1942 -- on the face of it not an uncommon occurance in those times. But there is more to the story than the tragic death of one man amoung so many millions. Czerniakow was for almost three years the chairman of the Warsaw Judenreat -- a Jew, devoted to his people, who served as the Nazi-sponsored "mayor" of the Warsaw Ghetto ... This secret journal is not only the testimony of an unbearable personal burden but the documentary of the Ghetto's terminal agony."

Ghetto Diary by Janusz Korczak
Amazon Reference: http://www.amazon.com/Ghetto-Diary-Janusz-Korczak/dp/0300097425
Excerpt from the back blurb: "A successful pediatrician and well-known author in his native Warsaw, he gave up a brilliant medical career to devote himself to the care of orphans. Like so many other Jews, Korczak was sent into the Warsaw Ghetto after the Nazi occupation of Poland. He immediately set up an orphanage for more than 200 children. Many of his admirers, Jewish and gentile, offered to rescue him from the ghetto, but Korczak refused to leave his small charges. When the Nazis ordered the children to board a train that was to carry them to the Treblinka death camp, Korczak went with them, despite the Nazis' offer of special treatment. His selfless behavior in caring for these children's lives and deaths has made him beloved throughout the world; he has been honored by UNESCO and commenorated on postage stamps in both Poland and Israel."

Doing pretty well and it isn't even February.

2009-01-25T15:06:00.002-05:00

I am doing pretty well with my New Year's resolutions. I am very proud of myself! I made an appointment with my doctor who tested my Thyroid and gave me a referral for an Endocrinologist. When she got the results of my test back, she told me to stay at the same dosage of my medication and to see the Endocrinologist in May. Um, MAY? No. No thank you. I shall be calling Monday to make a more timely appointment. If I have to, I will go to a different doctor -- 3 months is not acceptable.

I also am very excited for Wednesday at 1:00pm. That is when my appointment with Tim Wendt at Consumer Credit Counseling Services is. I have done some research on reputable companies in Columbus and have heard great things about CCCS. I am going to get into an Debt Management program and get everything paid off. I can't wait to start seeing some improvement in my debt, to not live paycheck to paycheck, and actually save some money. I want to have a credit card that is not maxed out so that if I have emergency expenses (ie: car insurance deductibles) I won't have to borrow money from my parents.

2009 is looking pretty good. It went out in drama and chaos for me, but comes in with hope and positive steps toward a good year.

The car drama is finally over

2009-01-25T14:36:00.005-05:00

I finally got my car back not on the Monday that I had hoped, but on Tuesday. She looks great and they even fixed a dent I had in the back that I done to the car myself. I didn't have the heart to tell them not to. Maybe the following drama was my Karma for not telling them to ignore the dent.

I was feeling pretty alright having to pay the $250 deductible since the repairs were so costly. This was until I arrived home and found a Subpoena in my mailbox. I was asked to appear in court because the kid who hit me was fighting the citation he received for failure to control! I lost my shit when I saw that! Luckily I received the subpoena about 2 days after the court date. I had to call the attorney the next day to make sure I wasn't in contempt of court for not appearing, which I wasn't.

Now, let's think about this for a minute. I drive about 20 miles to work one way. That night I drove home from work and drove down side roads, a 4 lane highway, a 2 lane highway, and about 4 secondary roads. I managed to control my car the whole fucking time. This kid slams on his breaks, loses control, and hits me. What exactly was he contesting? Clearly he lost control of his car. There is nothing to argue there.

Let's calculate some things here. For me, we have the 2-3 hours of standing in the freezing cold waiting for things to be cleared up the night of the accident. I can't ignore the stress and panic of the whole night, lost sleep, upset it caused my Dad who was on the phone with me, and the time Tamra and Brian took out of their lives to keep my calm and take care of me that night. Let's add onto that the 4 hours of work I missed the next day because I had to set up a rental, tow and deal with insurance issues. Also the $40 I paid for a trakphone because my cell service was down that day. I am going to add the extra day of rental fee's that insurance wouldn't cover because my car was done at 2pm on Tuesday but I was at work and couldn't pick it up. I am going to include lost sleep from the 3 calls of chiropractor offices and 2 calls from body shops I got the day my accident became public record. If I had to appear in court with this fucking subpoena, I would also have lost 8 hours of work (hmm? $13/hr versus the $14 dollars for the whole day I would have been paid to appear).

This adds up to a good $2-300 more in addition to the $25o deductible that I had to pay. This punk was expecting me to appear in court so he could fight a $35 citation? Not a ticket, a citation. I had every intention to take advantage of one of the 9 advertisements I received for law offices in one day to sue his ass for at least the deductible. I am not a mean person, and I was very lucky to walk away from the accident with no injuries and a car that could be fixed. However, I am a logical person in an illogical world. Why should I have to pay so much money because someone else couldn't control their vehicle? It doesn't make sense. I do think the stress of suing him would be more than it is worth, however I will be contacting my insurance company to see if his insurance (if he has any) will cover my deductible. This is not fair.

Greatest Ad Placement evah!

2009-01-25T14:36:00.001-05:00

Still waiting...

2009-01-10T12:30:00.002-05:00

I just got word from the Kia body shop that they had to ask for an additional $2400.00 to fix my car. They are hoping to be done by this Monday, but they didn't sound very positive of that. Apparently they had to replace a tire, replace my suspension and do massive body work. They said that insurance agreed to pay the additional amount, which makes a grand total of $6400.00. The shop said that even if the insurance didn't pay for it, the repairs HAD to be done or the car would not be drivable. Considering I only have about $300 bucks to my name, I am so very happy insurance is paying! As long as I don't crash my rental on the freezing rain we are having this weekend, I won't post until Monday with news of the car. I am trying to not be afraid to drive in this crap, but I think I am still shell shocked from the accident. Oh well, best get over the fear as there is NO way I can walk 20+ miles to work.

Everybody is doing it

2009-01-06T18:33:00.002-05:00

Alright, everyone I know is setting New Year's Resolutions, so I guess I better follow the crowd. I hate doing these because I never end of keeping them. I think I will shoot low for 2009 and then I won't be disappointed.

1) Take my health more seriously. I need to really but my foot down and be more aggressive about my health, especially my Thyroid problems. My health is putting a damper on my personal life and is really hindering my professional life as well.

2) Blog more. I do this every year, but I really want to accomplish this one. I get annoyed when blogs that I love don't publish for awhile, so I need to do the same.

3) Read more. I used to love reading, but reality television has gotten in the way. Steve took the challenge and set his goal at 100. I am going to be more wimpy and set my goal at 50. Feel free to join Shelfari and keep up with how I am doing and to set your own goals as well!

4) Find and go to a reputable credit counseling company. I have been under the thumb of debt that I have had for 5+ years. I can't ever seem to get a handle on it. It isn't a huge amount of money, but it is enough to ruin my credit and keep me from having any savings at all. It needs to stop. This year!

5) Go to social BBW events. I am tired of waiting for him to show up. I am going hunting!

6) Begin the process of finding a job closer to home and making the move back. I miss my family. There is nothing in C-bus keeping me here anymore. My friends are my family and I would miss them terribly, but I want to go home.

I think that is a pretty good list. For some, they could knock out that list in a month or two. For me it will take longer, but I think I can accomplish it. We will see, time will tell!! Good luck on your resolutions as well, dear readers!

Ah Ha!

2009-01-06T18:23:00.005-05:00

Okay, not the band but the epiphany. I realized yesterday what it is I don't like about my job. It is boring. January is our busiest time of year, so I had to stop teaching and start taking phone calls. I hate it. I could never pin point what it was that I disliked. I now realize that it is the monotony of it all. Granted, you never know what kind of call you are going to get or what mood the person is going to be in. However it is always the same questions, the same bullshit answers, the same complaints, the same excuses, the same ... everything. I remember a friend of mine told me once that it is scientifically proven that some people can work at their jobs for years and years and never quit. She also said that some people can only do the same thing for a year or two before they get bored and unhappy and need to move on. I think I may be that person. The longest I stayed at a job was almost 7 years, and I was miserable most of it. The only thing that kept me there so long was changing locations, which felt like a new job. I loved being able to teach at my current job, but that won't return until well into March or so. The possibility of doing what I really want, is just not there. At least I know what it is that I don't like, maybe I can fix things.

The whole story

2008-12-27T23:29:00.002-05:00

It has been one week since my accident and many people have been asking me exactly what happened. With the stress of insurance companies, repairs and the holidays I haven't had time to really go over it.

On December 20th we had pretty typical Ohio weather. It was rainy and snowy and would go back and forth between the two. Once the sun went down though, things got icy. The thing about Ohio that I could never understand is that every winter we have ice and snow. Every winter all Ohioans forget how to drive in the snow. I just don't get it.

I left work at 10:30 pm, shuffled carefully to my car on the ice, and scraped the sheet of ice off my car. I tested my anti-lock breaks on the empty parking lot for fun before I left since I never had anti-lock breaks before. I got onto I-270 (4 lane highway) and began my trek home. I knew things were bad, but the highway seemed fine. I was cautious but not overly so. That is until I saw all the accidents on the sides of the road and the overpasses. Apparently the sign "Bridge may ice before road" is to be ignored.

I called my workplace because I knew most folks weren't leaving until midnight, and I warned them of the bad roads. I got off onto I-71 and again didn't think the roads were all that bad. A huge accident right before my exit had the whole highway shut down, so I quickly took the exit before mine and survived a steep and slick off ramp. I even survived driving down a back road to get to the road I live off of, called Morse Road.

Morse is a heavily traveled (2 lane) road, 35 mph, and feels like the last road to ever get iced. People fly down the road in normal conditions going 50+mph. I was doing my 30-35 mph crawl and was about a block and a half from my apartment. I don't know if I heard the guy hit the person in front of him, or if I heard his tires squeal, but all of a sudden I see this white Monte Carlo come flying at me from across the center line. All I could do was grip the steering wheel and scream "NO NO NO NO!!" He slammed right into the driver's side of my car. The impact made his car go flying behind me and it came to a stop sideways in the road.

People came out of their houses to see what happened and I called 911. The driver who was traveling behind me had to drive up on the sidewalk next to me to avoid hitting me from behind. Bless her quick thinking! After being on hold with 911 for 1-2 minutes I got through and advised them of the accident. I can't hate on 911 as things were so bad that night. The man who hit me was pretty unresponsive and I was worried for him. I tried to get out of my car but could not because my door was jammed due to the damage.

People were getting into accidents trying to avoid ours. They would see our wreak, slam on their breaks and go sliding into someone. They would go flying down the middle of the road, right between our broken cars and lose control. While waiting 30+ minutes for Fire and Ambulance to arrive we saw a total of 10 accidents (mostly minor fender benders) in a stretch of road 2 blocks long. At one point I realized I could possibly be hit again since people were driving so irresponsibly. I had to climb over my center console to get out of my car. Not a easy task for a big girl! Bystanders helped the man who hit me out of his car also. His car had been hit two more times after he hit mine, and they removed him for his own safety laid him on the ground. If he didn't get hypothermia from laying on the freezing ground for so long then I would be amazed! He never was very responsive and folks who came out of their homes to help got him blankets and a tarp to try and keep him warm. He was later taken to the hospital by ambulance.

I called some very good friends, crying because this was my first real accident. I had gotten into another accident years ago, but it didn't involve damage or any other cars. The police officer deemed my car drivable to my apartment (since it as so close) but nowhere else. After a few hours I was finally able to go home.

I had to stew over things all day Sunday because nothing is open on Sunday's and I could get nothing accomplished. I woke up early Monday morning to begin calling insurance agents and all. Wouldn't you know it, Verizon Wireless' service was down! All day! All I have is a cell phone. I had to frantically post a bulletin on Myspace begging someone to email me and help. The same friend that hung out in the cold with me came over and I was able to use her cell phone all day. I ended up having to buy a prepaid cell phone because I didn't know when "The Most Reliable Network" would be up and running.

Luckily my insurance policy covers a rental, so I was able to finally get into a rental car. I was about 2 hours late to work on Monday -- but I got there. I have been blessed with very kind and understanding people through this experience. I called the Kia dealership and they came to tow my car to the body shop and my insurance said I was allowed to use their shop and would pay the tow fee. With the holiday things were delayed, so I just found out yesterday that the insurance adjuster looked at my car and deemed it $4,000.00 worth of damage! I will be without my Kia for about 2 weeks, which is actually better (quicker) than I thought. I don't know if the guy who hit me was drunk or not as I have not been able to see the police report yet. I also don't know if he had insurance as the cops were unable to find insurance information in his wallet. I am sure I will know more soon.

I am just happy that I was not hurt other than some seat belt pain. I really believe that if I was in my Neon not only would by airbag(s) have deployed, but I would have been seriously hurt too. Although I would have preferred to not have a major accident in my brand new car, I am sort of lucky I did. For all the stress I have been through (I don't do stress very well in case you never noticed) I really have been able to put things into perspective. It may not have been a big deal to most people, but it was a big deal/accident to me. I am forever haunted by the fact that during that night, with all the accidents, a teenage boy was killed. I am so very blessed to not be another statistic.

Merry Fucking Christmas

2008-12-21T12:18:00.008-05:00

At least I wasn't hurt and it wasn't my fault.

Sesame Street - ABCDEF...Cookie Monster!

2008-12-20T01:25:00.002-05:00

So freaking cute, you will pass out from Cute Overload. Super smile of the day!!

Dean Martin - Baby, It's Cold Outside

2008-12-14T16:29:00.001-05:00

Trying my best to get in the mood. Simply my favorite holiday song!

Long time, I know.

2008-12-08T14:39:00.004-05:00

I know it has been forever since I have posted, and I apologize for that. My life has kind of been like Groundhog's Day. I feel like I just do the same thing every day, over and over. I can't say I am miserable with it though. Consequently, I don't have anything very exciting going on. Plus I swear to God it was just Thanksgiving like yesterday. Now Christmas is almost here!! Time files when your life is boring.

I will say that I have found something to do at my job that I actually enjoy! When we have new folks hired at my employer, they have 6 weeks of training. I got to be a classroom assistant for the last class we had before the new year! This means that I got to assist them while they take their calls, teach them how to do certain aspects of the job, and basically be a mentor to new folks who may be intimidated with what they are getting themselves into. I also got the opportunity to walk the call floor and answer questions when people raise their hand (or a flag. Yep, we have flags) for assistance during a call.

Not only do I really love what I am doing, but I think I am good at it too! I had always flirted with the idea of being a teacher and now I think that teaching may be the key to my career dilemma that I have been looking for all along. I plan on looking for teaching opportunities not only with my current employer but outside of it as well. Maybe go back to school. I may even look into teaching abroad options.

I means the world to me when someone says to me "I really like when you help me because you are so calm and patient." My only concern has been that I don't ever feel like I am a leader, that I am always a follower. I didn't ever feel like I conveyed the leader image to others either. However, this Saturday I was on my own with the classroom and not only did I do fine when things got a little overwhelming, but I dealt with someone who had an emotional breakdown, disciplined someone who was having a temper tantrum* and even found the time to smooth things over with someone whom I had a rocky start with. All in all, it was an exhausting success.

I currently have the opportunity to work with folks who have gone into something my employer calls "The Academy." This is where people are pulled off the call floor and into a classroom setting and environment. These are people who are having trouble keeping their calls under the 5 minute average, having challenges keeping their documentation of their calls under 2 seconds, and basic knowledge of the job. With The Academy, I not only have the chance to work as an assistant, but I get to be even more interactive. I will be able to sit with people and monitor their calls and coach them afterwords on ways to be more effective.

I feel like I have the calm demeanor to do the job along with a sense of humor about the whole thing. I have a way of befriending people and not talking down to them. I thank my father for the ability to not get impatient with people learning -- he has always been a great teacher. I hear his voice every time I tell someone to not worry if they have the caller on hold for 2-3 minutes while I teach them how to do something. The customer will either wait or hang up and call back. No big deal. Everyone has to learn something new sometime, everyone was new at their job at one time.

I don't quite know how or why I come across as a soft spoken and relaxed person (I think this would shock most people who know me). However, I do and I think that is definitely what most people need when learning and I take it as a blessing. Don't get me wrong, there are days where I am about to snap, but I keep my cool. I am willing to take the advice of my superiors and am taking this chance to really go somewhere with the company and improve myself. I worry about the leader/authoritative side of myself that teachers need, However I need to remember Saturday. I was also able to be authoritative with the person who was having a tantrum* without being nasty or making it personal. I even had someone comment that because of the fact I raised my voice, she knew I meant business with this person. Maybe being a leader doesn't always mean being the big guy up front, with arms crossed, a scowl on my face, while shouting orders. Lothian is learning.

I am still dealing with many health issues, personal issues, major money issues, etc but I am pretty darn happy with what I am doing at work right now. I don't dread going in anymore, and I may have found my calling in life. We will see. I am sorry if this post was a little frazzled and not as focused as they usually are. My brain has not had to work this hard for awhile and my thoughts are like the snowflakes blowing around outside. Hopefully I will post more as things calm down, but I can't promise anything. Thanks for hanging in there with me!

*As an afterthought I wanted to add that these are still my co-workers. Some of them are my age, slightly younger or slightly older. My use of the word "tantrum" was to not imply that I was teaching children, but rather to illustrate how childish this particular co-worker's complaint was and how she handled herself. Teaching children who act like children may be a hell of a lot easier that teaching adults who act like children.**

Deadliest Catch - A Crabby Thanksgiving

2008-11-24T23:13:00.003-05:00

I can't stop watching this, it cracks me up. I am totally going to beg Tim to make some King Crab for Thanksgiving. I mean, how could I deny such hard working men?! So Steve, is it more fun with a mallet?

Nothing exciting going on in my life, so please visit some of the great places I visit on a daily basis!

2008-11-16T17:08:00.017-05:00

CRIGGO. Sort of like Headlines with Jay Leno, but funnier and without that obnoxious Jay Leno hanging around. Not many folks comment, so send them some lurve from me!
http://criggo.wordpress.com/

CAKE WREAKS. For the baker in all of us, these hilarious attempts at culinary greatness will have to taking your camera to the local bakery for a wreak of your very own.
http://www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER. Again with the cuteness but with hilarious captions. Also a pretty famous site that has make me LOL. No really, I have laughed out loud.
http://icanhascheezburger.com/

CUTE OVERLOAD. It is cuteness to the max. A pretty famous site that cheers me up everyday.
http://cuteoverload.com/

WHY WOULD YOU KNIT THAT? A hilarious collection of knitted and crocheted monstrosities. Yes, the above shot is from the site, and YES it is exactly what you think it is. Not frequently updated, but when it is it is certainly something to see.
http://whywouldyouknitthat.blogspot.com/

GIGABABY'S BUFFET. You don't have to eat it. Written by the nicest, funniest, most real person I know. (Sucking up) Visit it, seriously. You will shit a brick.
http://gigababybuffet.blogspot.com/

URBAN PUG. Everything Pugnacious, great links to pug-tastic information, a new addition called oopsie, and a beautiful baby girl!
http://www.urbanpug.com/

PROJECT RUNGAY. For fans of the Bravo hit television show Project Runway. Don't worry now that the show is on hiatus, they are still having a gay old time over there!
http://www.projectrungay.blogspot.com/

I AM BORED. For when you are ... well, you know. Best place for links to funny sites, videos, and images.
http://www.i-am-bored.com/

A SENSE OF PLACE. Alaska, Motorcycles, Goldfish, snow, fishing, and Chico. Through his beautiful photos, Steve shows us some of the most amazing places I have ever seen of the home where my heart truly resides. I couldn't ask for more!
http://senseofplace63.blogspot.com/

DEADLIEST REPORTS. Opilia works super hard to keep me up to date on all that is Deadliest Catch. Thanks a million for your site!
http://deadliestreports.wordpress.com/

THE REDNECK ROMANCE WRITER. My favorite Redneck Romance Writer, Jennifer Leeland ... er, McKenzie ... well, both of them!
http://jenniferleeland.wordpress.com/

The Epitome of a lazy genius!

2008-11-16T14:17:00.002-05:00

If you have ever played ball with a pup who has never ending energy, this is the contraption for you!

Thanks Cute Overload!

Customer service rep of the week. THAT is some patience!

2008-11-01T22:00:00.001-05:00

The sad part is that people like this really do exist. I have ordered many "genetic" medications for people.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

2008-10-31T20:57:00.000-05:00

Goodbye my dear friend

2008-10-17T22:19:00.006-05:00

I have been blessed to have never had a close friend of mine pass away. I know it will happen one day, but I have been lucky so far. However, I have lost quite a few fuzzy friends this year and the pain is the same. Most recently is my friend Weber who passed away from liver cancer. His parents are my dear friends Tim and Ron. He was a sweet old man. I always loved to watch him while visiting. He would get up periodically throughout the night and "make the rounds" -- getting head scratches and loving from everyone in the room; one person at a time. I remember having to encourage him to eat while babysitting. I stood in the kitchen gushing "good boy" every time he put his head down to eat. If I stopped, he would look up at me and and ask why I wasn't calling him a good boy anymore. He was so proud of himself for being a good boy. I will miss him dreadfully and I wish I could take some of the pain away that my friends are feeling. But I can't. All I can do is encourage them that they made the right decision and that Weber will always be in our hearts.

My sister has had to bury 2 dogs this year. The first was my friend Max (not pictured) who I didn't have the pleasure of knowing for very long. He struggled bravely for a long time with cancer and was eventually put out of pain by his doctor. A few months ago, my oldest friend Samson passed away too. He is the yellow lab above. He developed bloat that took him very abruptly and cruelly. I remember getting ready to leave my home town many years ago. Sam and his sister Jayme were staying with my parents. I was not looking forward to returning to Columbus and sat there with Sam, crying and telling him all about my fears. He was very supportive and listening intently. I knew in my heart he was truly listening. He was a goofball and a super sweetheart and I miss him too very, very much.

The world is less without them, but the stars shine brighter.

celebrating the greatest music video EVAH!

2008-10-12T23:30:00.001-05:00

Be sure to check out all of Weezer's videos as they are all fucking genius!

Saw things so much clearer

2008-10-12T09:18:00.002-05:00

I have a bad habit when I drive. No, I don't chat on the phone or text message. I look too much in my rearview mirror. I don't know why, but I seem to spend more time worried about what is going on behind me than what is going on before me. I worry if someone is tailgating me, if I have my music on too loud and can't hear the cop behind me, or if something exciting is going on that I am missing.

No matter how hard I try to break myself of this habit, I can't seem to shake it. I realized the other day, that my rearview mirror is an odd analogy for my life. I spend too much time thinking about what happened in my past, that I forget where I am going. I drive on automatic pilot, which is how I live my life -- just exsisting, not really driving. Why should I worry if someone it tailgating me? They can go around. Yet, the little girl inside me is hearing some bully yelling "hey, speed up fatty! You are so slow, you are taking up the whole highway!"

I have made a concious decision to try and not spend so much time looking in my rearview and only doing so in a normal and safe driving context. However, I am having the hardest time breaking myself of this. I try to live my life and not let the pains of the past hinder me, yet I am still stuck with those voices in my head. I just find it interesting how something as mundane as driving can really reflect much larger things. I am trying to take this analogy to heart and learn from it ... but I see things so much clearer once they are in my rearview mirror.

Rock and ...What!?

2008-10-12T09:13:00.002-05:00

REARVIEW MIRROR
Pearl Jam

I took a drive today
Time to emancipate
I guess it was the beatings made me wise
But I'm not about to give thanks or apologize
I couldn't breathe holdin' me down
Hand on my face kissin' the ground
Enmity gauged united by fear
'Posed to endure what I could not forgive...

I seem to look away
Wounds in the mirror waved
It wasn't my surface most defiled
Head at your feet fool to your crown
Fist on my plate, swallowed it down
Enmity gauged, united by fear
Tried to endure what I could not forgive

Saw things
Clearer
Once you, were in my...Rearview mirror...

I gather speed from you fucking with me
Once and for all I'm far away
I hardly believe, finally the shades...are raised...hey...

Saw things so much clearer
Once you, once you...
Rearview mirror

Saw things so much clearer
Once you...oh yeah...

I promise more post's in the future!!

2008-10-11T22:33:00.000-05:00

So I have been battling my Thyroid for many, many years. Every 6 months I have to get my blood checked to see what my levels are at. Sometimes they are too high and sometimes they are too low. If your thyroid is too high, you have hypothyroidism which means your body runs really fucking slow. Too low, vise versa. Normal thyroid levels are between 0.5-5.5. My recent levels? 10.5. NO WONDER I CAN BARELY BRING MYSELF TO GET OUT OF BED EVERYDAY!! My doctor has given up on trying to level my thyroid out. I have been seeing her for about 6 years, and my previous doctor also tried to "fix me" for a few years before her. My doctor wants to check my levels again in 2 months and send me to an endocrinologist. My fear is that if medication doesn't work, they may need to remove my thyroid all together.

Along with my thyroid being too high, comes high cholesterol. My physician told me that my cholesterol is probably elevated due to my thyorid, I guess they go hand in hand. All this news is making me feel very .... fat.

I was always a healthy fat woman, and I truly believe you can be a big girl and be healthy at the same time. People have proven it time and again. Fat doesn't always = unhealthy. However, the past few years have been creeping up on me. My heart palpatations are increasing in frequency, my blood pressure is going up, and now my cholesterol. I guess it is time to try to lose some weight again, or go to more extreme measures like surgery to help my body. UGH!!

So lazy, I am making other blogs do all the work.

2008-10-09T23:44:00.000-05:00

You don't say?

2008-09-23T22:11:00.002-05:00

Really, captain obvious? You are gay?
We had no fucking clue.
Good for you for finally coming out though, we support you (even if we outed you, like 3 years ago!)

Attractive AND kind? sigh I am kicking Angelina's ass.

2008-09-18T11:33:00.001-05:00

"Because no one has the right to deny another their life, even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8."

A love letter

2008-09-16T11:29:00.002-05:00

Dear city of Dublin Police Department,

You guys rock. You definitely deserve to be a part of Columbus' bravest. Now, don't get me wrong. I am sure the entire City of Columbus and it's police department worked their asses off during our city wide power outage. The one that still has many people without power. However, the City of Dublin sent their officers to do something they probably didn't really want to be doing, but was much needed. That's right, direct traffic.
I know it sounds like a small thing, but people really reveal their stupid gene when traffic lights go out. I saw many near misses and blaring car horns on Morse road on my way to work. So many so, that I was a little worried about finishing my drive. I was very relieved once I got to Dublin and saw those flashing lights and our guardians in blue. I don't know what the rest of the city was doing, but at least Dublin knew what was desperately needed. A small gesture that went miles.

Thanks a million, you really are America's finest.
lothian

I'm a little cranky today.

2008-09-15T11:15:00.002-05:00

Let's recount my past day or so, shall we. Maybe it will reveal why I am a little cranky today.

Saturday 3:00 am - go to bed after a long day at work
Sunday 3:00 pm - Wake up (yes, I know I overslept quite a bit)
Sunday 3:30 pm - Power goes out, oops it's back on.
Sunday 3:45 pm - Power goes out, oops it's back on.
Sunday 4:00 pm - Power goes out, oops it's back on.
Sunday 4:05 pm - Power goes out, big bang. It stays out. In the dark.
Sunday 5:00 pm - In the dark still.
Sunday 6:00 pm - In the dark still.
Sunday 7:00 pm - What's that? In the dark still.
Sunday 8:00 pm- Still dark. There isn't a whole hell of a lot you can do in the dark.
Sunday 9:00 pm - Jill and Ron have power now, hoping...
Sunday 10:00 pm - Fuck the dark.
Sunday 11:00 pm - Still hoping to have some sort of nice day off. Still sitting in the dark.
Sunday 12:00 pm/am - Pretty sure my food in the fridge is spoiled. Can't see for sure, still dark.
Monday 1:00 am - Still in the dark. Have admitted defeat. Going to bed to try and sleep.
Monday 2:00 am - Roll over in pool of sweat, listening to every fart my upstairs neighbor blows.
Monday 3:00 am - Whoo Hoo!! Power! It scared the shit out of me coming on. I stumble around the apartment half asleep turning of fans, lamps, and my blaring TV. Run into the doorknob on my closet, can feel the bruise coming on.
Monday 3:10 am - Sit down to pee. Lights go out.
Monday 3:15 am - Too tired to cry, lay back down on my bed in the sweat shack.
Monday 4:00 am - Strange dreams.
Monday 4:30 am - Mini Heart attack when power comes on again. Get up, turn bathroom light off.
Monday 5:00 am - Strange dreams about work.
Monday 6:00 am - Continued LSD-type dreams.
Monday 7:00 am - Dreaming.
Monday 7:30 am - Cell phone goes off, Ron texting me if I have power. Will reply text later.
Monday 8:00 am - Fall back asleep.
Monday 8:15 am - Cell phone goes off. Damn it!! Jill texting me if I have power yet. Will reply text later. I love my friends, I really do.
Monday 8:30 am - Fall back asleep.
Monday 9:00 am - Weird ass dreams.
Monday 9:30 am - Asshole begins mowing the lawn at my complex. You just don't know how loud a lawn mower is until you live on the ground floor and one goes by right by your head. Pretty fucking loud. Glad he feel's it's important to mow dead grass.
Monday 10:00 am - He is done, now I can go back to sleep.
Monday 10:30 am - Finally asleep
Monday 11:00 am - Mom calls like she said she would to make sure I am up in case my power never came on.

Fine. I am up now. *sigh* Today should be a good day.

Sarah Palin vs/ Hillary Clinton

2008-09-14T14:21:00.000-05:00

2008-09-11T11:56:00.003-05:00

HILDA! The sexiest pin-up from the 1950's and 1960's. God bless you Duane Bryers!

2008-09-05T22:26:00.007-05:00

For more info on HILDA and to find many more absolutely adorable paintings of her, try HIS WEBSITE or HERE.

Rock and ...What!?

2008-09-05T22:19:00.001-05:00

Danny's Song
Kenny Loggins
*sorry for the shitty video, but it was the best one I could find*

People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one, and we've just begun,
Think I'm gonna have a son.
He will be like she and me, as free as a dove, conceived in love,
Sun is gonna shine above.

Chorus:
And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with ya honey,
And everything will bring a chain of love.
And in the morning when I rise, you bring a tear of joy to my eyes,
And tell me everything is gonna be alright.

Seems as though a month ago I beta chi, never got high,
Oh, I was a sorry guy.
And now a smile, a face, a girl that shares my name,
Now I'm through with the game, this boy will never be the same.

(To chorus:)
Pisces, Virgo rising is a very good sign, strong and kind,
And the little boy is mine.
Now I see a family where there once was none, now we've just begun,
Yeah, we're gonna fly to the sun.

(To chorus:)

Love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup, drink it up,
Love her and she'll bring you luck.
And if you find she helps your mind, buddy, take her home,
Don't you live alone, try to earn what lovers own.

(To chorus:)

The Stolen Child by W.B. Yeats

2008-09-05T22:16:00.000-05:00

Where dips the rocky highland
Of Sleuth Wood in the lake,
There lies a leafy island
Where flapping herons wake
The drowsy water-rats;
There we've hid out faery vats,
Full of berries
And the reddest stolen cherries.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Where the wave of moonlight glosses
The dim grey sands with light,
Far off by furthest Rosses
We foot it all the night,
Weaving olden dances,
Mingling hands and mingling glances
Till the moon has taken flight;
To and fro we leap
And chase the frothy bubbles,
While the world is full of troubles
And is anxious in its sleep.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters of the wild
With a faery hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Where the wandering water gushes
From the hills above Glen-Car,
In pools among the rushes
That scarce could bathe a star,
We seek for slumbering trout
And whispering in their ears
Give them unquiet dreams;
Leaning softly out
From ferns that drop their tears
Over the young streams.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Away with us he's going,
The solemn-eyed:
He'll hear no more the lowing
Of the calves on the warm hillside
Or the kettle on the hob
Sing peace into his breast,
Or see the brown mice bob
Round and round the oatmeal-chest.
For he comes, the human child,
To the waters and the wild
With a faery hand in hand,
From a world more full of weeping than he can understand.

Solidarity Forever (Pete Seeger)

2008-09-01T15:15:00.003-05:00

Phew!

2008-08-21T23:11:00.002-05:00

I finally had that 1 on 1 with my supervisor today. It stemmed from me finally writing her a note basically asking her how close I was to getting fired. I was tired of worrying that I was going to show up one day and they were going to have all my shit packed up and an escort for me to my car.

Turns out I have nothing to worry about. Although my attendance has been admittedly bad, it is nothing that they are sweating. I need to work on it of course, but I don't have any official warnings or write-up's to be concerned about. What a relief to know that I am not going to lose my job any time soon. I was upfront with my supervisor and explained my health problems and feelings toward the job and she was very supportive. If I stay with the company, I want to move up and begin doing other (more interesting) things. She thinks that I am a good candidate, so now only time will tell if an opportunity knocks for me. I am changing my shift to a little earlier - 2pm until 10:30 pm, so hopefully that will help with the depression.

I am always grateful for the fact that I even have a job and I hope I never came across as thinking otherwise. I just didn't see myself doing this type of work in my 30's. I let myself down.

She's crafty!

2008-08-17T23:40:00.008-05:00

I crochet. Not well, but I try. My grandmother was a master crochet-er, making delicate lace doilies and complex afghans. I never developed any interest in the craft until my mid-teens. By this time, she had fallen into the depths of dementia and had lost ... everything. When she died, I had a nervous breakdown. Literally. I had to see a physiologist and everything. One night, during my despair, I decided I wanted (needed) to crochet. My mother dug out an old hook and some worn yarn and showed me the basic stitch that she knew (she has never been into knitting or crochet). For months I worked on this blanket. My mother and I would go to the craft store and pick out colors of yarns together. It was a striped blanket, so we would consult on what color would look best next. I would stitch rows and rows and then furiously tear them out because my virgin hands dropped a loop here or there. Some rows would be super tightly coiled, revealing the bad day I may have had. While others are airy and light, showing a more relaxed state of mind. That blanket, as ugly as it is, helped me grieve. It helped my mother and I communicate during a time when we couldn't. I knew that my grandmother was somehow guiding my hands, helping me learn. Teaching me.

I am still not the best at crochet. I don't learn well from a book of diagrams and patterns that read like computer programming -- I have to have someone show me and I have to do it. However, that isn't an option -- no one I know can crochet. Yet whenever I get stuck or my eyes get hot with tears of frustration, I think of my grandmother and I ask her for help. Lo and behold, it eventually comes to me. My awkward fingers find the rhythm and my mind translates the image. So, in a way I guess I DO have some one to help me.

I don't usually have the attention span to finish any projects that I start. I have a massive granny square bag I made that all it needs is a strap and lining -- yet it still sits here. Pathetically unfinished. Alas, I have finished a few small projects and would like to show them off to you.

I made myself a little cell phone holder that turned out so cute that a friend at work begged me to make her one. I used a really tight, sturdy stitch that almost makes it appear to be knitted instead of crocheted. Here is how hers turned out.

I then got bored at work and decided I was going to try to make my mother a clutch using the same idea, but making it larger. Here is how it turned out.

I decided to try some new things on mom's gift. I had never done the Picot edging before and it turned out surprisingly well. I had also never attempted flowers and that was ... a trip. Initially I had a pattern for a little bird and since she loves birds, I wanted to make that. Yeah, um ... flowers are easier (but not that easy). I sewed fancy buttons in the middle of the flowers to really make them pop.

In my earlier, cell phone/change purse I made the mistake of trying to sew Velcro onto the yarn as a closure. Never again. I was intimidated by using snaps as I have never sewn snaps before, but it turned out alright on mom's purse.

All in all, I was pretty impressed with myself. I stuck to it, and it was not perfect, but it was made with love and I had a good time doing it. I will let you know what she thinks of it when I mail it off this week.

Miss me?

2008-08-17T23:17:00.002-05:00

I know I haven't been around much lately. It is just that the vampire hours I am working are starting to get to me. Plus, my brain has been very scattered lately and I haven't been able to really focus enough to blog.

Anyway, I answered one of those MySpace surveys the other day. I don't usually fill them out because how many times do I have to tell you what my favorite color is, or what I am listening to at the moment? However, this one was interesting so I did it. A long time friend responded to my survey and was surprised at one of my answers. She "never knew" this particular thing about me (#1 on my list). It got me thinking about what things I would like to accomplish in my life, however small or large. I thought I would share my preliminary list (not in any order of importance) with you all so that maybe you too will learn a thing or two about me.

1) Have a child. Hopefully before my parents pass away so they can feel the joy of grand parenting.

2) Make love to a man and have no fear of him. Make love to man and not be embarrassed by my body. (and no, I don't think #1 and #2 necessarily go hand in hand)

3) Live in a remote cabin in Alaska for at least a month. Never apologize (or be surprised) if I decide to stay there forever.

4) Go on a nice fishing trip with my father. My favorite memories with him are of our time spent fishing together.

5) Visit India during the Holi Festival.
**According to www.holifestival.org "The colorful festival of Holi is celebrated on Phalgun Purnima which comes in February end or early March. Holi festival has an ancient origin and celebrates the triumph of 'good' over 'bad'. The colorful festival bridges the social gap and renew sweet relationships. On this day, people hug and wish each other 'Happy Holi'."

6) Ride a Harley (or any motorcycle for that matter). Learn how to drive my own Harley.

7) Get all of the tattoo's that I am wanting, without any fear of what people may think of me.

8) Write a book. Maybe or maybe not try and get published.

9) Go to Pastry school. I love to bake, and to be able to do this as a career would be a dream.

10) Own (at least) 2 pug dogs. I shall name them Merry and Pippin.

11) Do something remarkable for my parents as they have been so remarkable to me. I have yet to find out what this will someday be.

12) Move back home and buy my own house near a lake.

13) Learn to scuba dive and travel all over exploring the sea.

14) Visit Tibet and walk among the holiest of people.

15) Take singing lessons and sing loudly and proudly (and not drunkenly) in front of a crowd.

16) Never lose touch with Brad.

17) Find a job that I love and will not hate go to. (I DO think this and #9 go hand in hand)

18) Get liposuction or workout to remove my massive arms and my spare tire belly.

19) Learn how and go rock climbing and hiking.

20) Taking acting lessons and actually go for it, just once.

That is all I can think of right now. I will definitely keep adding more as they come to me. I will also keep you posted if I ever manage to accomplish any of these things. Of course, if you can help me with any, feel free to speak up! (wink*wink)

For your information,

2008-08-13T23:48:00.001-05:00

Greatest. Thing. Ever!

That is all.

I didn't mean to leave you hanging ...

2008-08-04T23:48:00.003-05:00

However, I haven't heard anything. NOTHING. When I was supposed to have my stern talking to I waited for her for 45 minutes and she never came to find me. I chatted with a co-worker for 45 minutes, went on break, came back and nothing. Apparently my genius supervisor leaves at 5pm. Which would make sense why she would schedule our little meeting for 5pm. She has had ample opportunity to reschedule and apologize for forgetting, yet she hasn't. I am certainly not stupid enough to go looking for trouble! I swear, it is the same at every job. The dumbest people are the one's running the show. I will keep you posted on when (or if) she ever remembers to chastise me. I have no plans on worrying about it.

Someone call Miss Cleo!

2008-07-28T23:39:00.002-05:00

So, I open my MSN page today to a very uplifting horoscope. It read:

"Today should be a gratifying day, dear Pisces, full of great news, pleasant surprises, and opening up doors of opportunity on just about every level. Opportunities to earn more money could come your way, new friends could be introduced to you, and opportunities for education and travel also may be presented. Whatever actually manifests out of all this, however, is up to you. You might find decisions difficult."

I am thinking, super! I need some good news on the job search front! I need some insight into where I am going!

What I got was a note in my mailbox from my supervisor telling me she scheduled some "1 on 1 time" with me tomorrow to discuss my "attendance and performance." My performance has been fine, but attendance ... not so much. I am very nervous and will let you all know how it went.

*sigh* Good job psyching me out Moons and stars!!

I am VERY disappointed!

2008-07-17T23:56:00.001-05:00

Created by OnePlusYou

Rock and ...What!?

2008-07-16T23:53:00.004-05:00

3 Days Grace

Never Too Late

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong
Who would have guessed it
I will not leave alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like it's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

No one will ever see
This side reflected
And if there's something wrong
Who would have guessed it
And I have left alone
Everything that I own
To make you feel like
It's not too late
It's never too late

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late

The world we knew
Won't come back
The time we've lost
Can't get back
The life we had
Won't be ours again

This world will never be
What I expected
And if I don't belong

Even if I say
It'll be alright
Still I hear you say
You want to end your life
Now and again we try
To just stay alive
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late
Maybe we'll turn it around
'Cause it's not too late
It's never too late (It's never too late)
It's not too late
It's never too late

*Youtube would not let me embed the actual music video. Which is a shame because the video is wonderful and really moved me.*

Maria Hulyk

2008-07-06T19:27:00.003-05:00

I have been debating about how and what to say in this post so much that I have let the story go too long. I don't have the words to describe the emotions I have been going through. The woman's name above is the name of just another customer I had to help at work a week or so ago. Just another older woman calling to order her medication. Just another sweet voice, heavily accented, on the other line.

I often wonder if I was meant to take her call. If, by some act of power much larger than I, her phone call was directed to me. Maybe if someone else had taken her call, they would not have heard her tell them she was a Holocaust survivor and spent time suffering in a concentration camp.
Maybe they would have been too wrapped up in their own lives that they would not have heard that she was only 15 years old at the time.
Maybe they wouldn't have had sympathy for her when she began crying over her husband that she missed so much.
They wouldn't have asked if she had children to help her. They wouldn't have learned that she lost the ability to have children because the Nazi's at the concentration camp put "poisons" in what little food they fed the 'prisoners' so that they wouldn't need to provide "napkins" for the women.
Maybe they wouldn't have cared that she could never adopt because the government felt she and her husband were too old for a baby and her mother in law didn't want to help care for a grown child.

I told her it was an honor to speak with her, but I don't think she caught that. It was a great honor. I don't have the poetry to explain what the Holocaust means to me. I am not of Jewish decent, although I am of Polish decent. In a sense, I feel that I lived through it or died during that time in a previous life. Ever since I was a child I had a certain fascination with the Holocaust that went beyond some sort of sick interest. It all seems very familiar to me. The languages, the fear, the confusion, the architecture. Air sirens strike a terror in me that I could/can never begin to understand.

It is surprising to meet someone who survived such cruelty because they are all passing away from age. Why is this story significant to me? Because people are forgetting. In tears, I started to speak to the woman who sits next to me at work about the amazing life that just touched mine. The woman that is the same age as me. The woman who has a child. The woman who did not know what a concentration camp was. She didn't even know what I meant when I said The Holocaust. Her response. "oh, I think I saw a movie about that once."

A movie?!

History repeats itself, there are Holocaust's going on at this very moment all over the world. Isn't it imperative to not let people die in vain, to remember such important faucets of history? I wish I had the words to express how disappointed and shocked I was that she truly had no idea what I was talking about. When I told her 6 million Jews were murdered along with countless numbers of Gypsy's, Gays and Lesbians, Poles, disabled people, and those denying Hitler she gave me the most horrifying blank look I have ever seen.

Abu Abdullah Muhammad al-Harithi al-Baghdadi al-Mufid said, "No tool is more beneficial than intelligence. No enemy is more harmful than ignorance."

**In looking for an image for this post I came across a very interesting website/article about "The Holocaust Myth". If you are kind enough to read this far, please be kind enough to quickly check out the website. It is short and very interesting. You can find it HERE. Thanks!

These Dreams

2008-07-06T19:13:00.002-05:00

So, I am one of those people who have reoccurring dreams. The less frequent one involves me being chased by someone who is trying to hurt or kill me. There is always a child or two in the dream with me that I am desperately trying to protect. I don't need Siggy Freud to explain to me what THAT one means.

But what the hell is with the constant dreams of my damn teeth falling out?! Has anyone else had this dream? Usually it involves my teeth crumbling out of my mouth. It is gross and horrifying. I also seem to have this dream 1-2 times a month. According to the website Dream Moods:

One theory is that dreams about your teeth reflect your anxiety about your appearance and how others perceive you. Sadly, we live in a world where good looks are valued highly and your teeth play an important role in conveying that image. Teeth are used in the game of flirtations, whether it be a dazzling and gleaming smile or affectionate necking. These dreams may stem from a fear of your sexual impotence or the consequences of getting old. Teeth are an important feature of our attractiveness and presentation to others.

Another rationalization for these falling teeth dream may be rooted in your fear of being embarrassed or making a fool of yourself in some specific situation. Perhaps you are having difficulties expressing yourself or getting your point across. You feel frustrated when your voice is not being heard. You may be experiencing feelings of inferiority and a lack of self-confidence in some situation or relationship in your life. This dream is an indication that you need to be more assertive and believe in the value of your own opinion.

A scriptural interpretation for bad or falling teeth indicate that you are putting your faith, trust, and beliefs in what man thinks rather than in the word of God. The bible says that God speaks once, yea twice in a dream or a vision in order to hide pride from us, to keep us back from the pit, to open our ears (spiritually) and to instruct and correct us.

In the Greek culture, when you dream about loose, rotten, or missing teeth, it indicates that a family member or close friend is very sick or even near death.

According to the Chinese, there is a saying that your teeth will fall out if your are telling lies.

It has also been said that if you dream of your teeth falling out, then it symbolizes money. This is based on the old tooth fairy story. If you lose a tooth and leave it under the pillow, a tooth fairy would bring you money.

I don't know how I feel about these interpretations. I don't really think I am all that vain. However, I do frequently feel powerless. I have these dreams so often and they are SO disturbing, that I think they are trying to tell me something. However, I am not sure if any of the above applies. Any suggestions?

Rock and ...What!? (in honor of above post)

2008-07-06T19:07:00.003-05:00

HEART
"These Dreams"

Spare a little candle
Save some light for me
figures up ahead
Moving in the trees
White skin in linen
Perfume on my wrist
And the full moon that hangs over
these dreams in the mist
Darkness on the edge
Shadows where I stand
I search for the time
On a watch with no hands
I want to see you clearly
Come closer than this
But all I remember
Are the dreams in the mist
These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

Is it cloak 'n dagger
Could it be spring or fall
I walk without a cut
Through a stained glass wall
Weaker in my eyesight
The candle in my grip
And words that have no form
Are falling from my lips

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

There's something out there
I can't resist
I need to hide away from the pain
There's something out there
I can't resist
The sweetest song is silence
That I've ever heard
Funny how your feet
In dreams never touch the earth
In a wood full of princes
Freedom is a kiss
But the prince hides his face
From dreams in the mist

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

These dreams go on when I close my eyes
Every second of the night I live another life
These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside
Every moment I'm awake the further I'm away

Happy Fourth of July. I am feeling very patriotic.

2008-07-04T14:34:00.004-05:00

You all lose. I have the best Daddy in the world.

2008-06-15T14:34:00.008-05:00

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DAD!

I LOVE YOU.

Feeling a little better today

2008-06-13T12:10:00.002-05:00

Thanks for the love, everyone. I am feeling a little better today. I haven't decided if I should write about what happened or not. I have always expressed myself better with the written word, than with talking to someone. That is why I have loved writing about my problems in this blog. I took sometime yesterday to read through old posts of mine and found that I have meltdowns quite a bit. Mostly the issues stay the same. I think it is time for a drastic change. I am just not sure what that change may be. Anyway, I survived the night my darlings.

Something is wrong

2008-06-12T14:41:00.004-05:00

I have just spent the last hour sobbing and I can't seem to stop. Something is wrong. Very wrong. I want to reach out to my friends, but I don't know what to say, Where to start. I want to call my parents, but I don't want to scare them. I want to write about it here, but I am tired of being seen like all I do is complain. I can't continue to burden others with my problems. I know others have it worse. But this life is too hard for me. I can't talk to a stranger or doctor about it. Medication doesn't always work. My body is inferior and is in pain. Old medical problems are returning and I just don't want this life anymore. I don't know what to do or where to go. If I am unhappy, I should just fix it right? I don't know HOW.

This is NOT a suicide note.

Just an expression of ... something. I don't even know what anymore. Life is too hard for me and I don't even have it hard. Something needs to change or I am going to break. THIS is where I have been. THIS is why I haven't posted much recently. Is THIS what my life is forever going to be?

Home for Memorial Day!

2008-06-01T14:06:00.010-05:00

So, I played hooky from work and took the long Memorial Day holiday to go home to the Youngstown area to visit my family and see my hometown. I haven't been home since well before Thanksgiving, so it was nice to get out of Columbus and calm down for awhile. It was such beautiful weather and was such a lovely visit, that I am seriously considering looking for a little home and moving back there.

I was able to take a few pictures and I thought I would share them. The above one is the view from our front porch taken with my cell phone, believe it or not. It was hard to get a good shot of the flag, since the wind was blowing. However I think the sun on the flag and the gorgeous blue sky reflected my mood and my visit perfectly.

I have no idea why the date is wrong on my pictures yet again! Oh well, don't we have the most amazing and lush trees? This is from the back yard.

This is another tree from behind my neighbor's house. They are so tall and strong. I grew up with these trees, they are like family.

This is a shot of my mother's frog fountain. By the end of the day, the wind had blown so many whirligigs from the neighbor's maple tree into it, that I had to scoop them all out and then add more water. I should have stepped back so that you could see her entire set-up including a wheelbarrow filled with plants and flowers, but I was trying to be artsy.

This is part of our front yard. The tree you see to the left of the shot has an interesting story. We went on vacation when I was in junior high, and while we were gone our asshole neighbors (who have recently moved, yippee!!) called the city and had our huge tree that was growing there cut down. They claimed it was old and dying, but we knew that they just didn't want to rake leaves, pick up branches after a storm, etc. Shortly after we came back, my dad planted a tiny little spindly tree in it's place. We didn't think it would last, but many years later this teenager is shooting high up to the sky!

This is a close up of my mother's magnolia tree. We have about 3 of them on our property. Magnolia's are not my mother's favorite flower (though she does like them), and I actually tend to associate magnolia tree's with my grandmother as she had many and loved them. I am sure that is why mom keeps them around.

This is me trying to be artsy again. Since purple is my favorite color, I love this tree. We have a large one right next to our house on the side where my bedroom is. I remember when it would storm or the wind would blow hard I could lay in bed at night and listen to the tree scrape against the house. It was such a calm and familiar sound it would lull me to sleep. I think it is interesting to see how much of my history and childhood can be told through the plants and the trees.

This is an OLD picture I took of my house many years ago, but I thought I would add it as some things never really change.

THESE bitches are fat and fab!!

2008-05-14T01:16:00.003-05:00

I found this photo on a celebrity gossip website that I frequent. The author of the blog challenged his readers to caption this photo with something funny (and inevitably cruel). I want to combat that ugliness.

I challenge you to look at this picture. Don't be shy. Really think about it.

Why would it be amusing/joke worthy to see two beautiful, black, plus sized women celebrating their full bodies?
why does the image of two naked women who do not have "average sized" bodies make us cringe?
Do you look at them and pray you never have bodies as fat as theirs?
or do your eyes well up with tears at the thought that you may never be so secure in your own skin to ever pose like they did?
Is your first reaction to be ashamed for them? Disgusted?
Should women (and men) with bodies like these keep them hidden from view?
What is so obscene about fat?

When I look at this photo I see many things. I see 2 women who have cast off the shelter of clothing to reveal that fat is nothing to be afraid of. I see large breasts swaying with the movement of the life in their bodies. I see soft full bellies. I see dark, honey colored skin covering the same insides we all share. I see dark, honey colored skin that is probably thicker than most people's from years of struggle. I see strong thick thighs that can walk a mile. I see heads held high, placed on confident shoulders that can hold the weight of the world. I see arms that are supple and cast outward in an expression of total joy. I see smiles, not apprehension. I see strength. I see confidence. I see love for oneself.

I see 2 beautiful, FAT and fabulous women.

"'Good and 'better' in respect to beauty are not easy to discern, for it would be quite possible to make two different figures, neither conforming with the other, one stouter, the other thinner, and yet we might scarce be able to judge which of the two excelled in beauty."
~~Albrecht Durer from Four Books Of Human Proportions, 1528

To the producers of Deadliest Catch:

2008-05-14T00:54:00.003-05:00

After a long day of dealing with pissed off old people, all I wanted to do was come home and watch a little eye candy on my favorite show Deadliest Catch. I don't know what the hell you folks are doing, but the absence of the Cornelia Marie did not go unnoticed!

Just so you know, I can't get into this new boat The Early Dawn. Plus, it is no substitute for our favorite boats we fans have come to know and love. I understand that you think it is good television to have the boat owner's incompetent son on board, but it just isn't cutting it.

However, making D.C. just the "Time Bandit-Wizard-Cornelia Marie-show" would be better. ;)

I understand that the other new boat, The North American, is a friend to show consultant The Northwestern. However, there isn't enough room for a new vessel and I would be very pissed to see any of the fan favorites get pushed aside to make room for a new boat. You only have one, maybe 2 more seasons left of Deadliest Catch before people lose interest. Haven't you ever heard the phrase "Don't fix what ain't broke"? I appreciate you wanting to show more boats, new stories and interesting people. But just don't, okay?

So, basically what I am saying is change is bad. Keep the boats we love and stop wasting time with the new ones. OH, and I swear to God if you cut the Cornelia Marie off the show again I am going to lose my shit!

Also, I would appreciate it if you could find some footage of Crosby Leveen from The Wizard pulling pots in nothing but a smile. Oh! and a few shots of The Cornelia Marie's Dave Millman shirtless would be nice too.

SO, what do you think?

2008-05-13T00:05:00.001-05:00

New Kids on the Block's new single "Summertime". Eh.

Random posting at 1 a.m.

2008-05-12T23:39:00.005-05:00

Super ... I have ants.

Carpenter ants or termites to be exact. Shit.

I have already bombed my apartment once, and have sprayed the hell out of my apartment, yet they still keep coming back.

I swear, I open the door to my place and I get the wonderful aroma of Raid.

I wonder if I am poisoning myself? Great.

Is this a pimple or a third eye? Damn insecticides.

They love to hang out around my computer. My internet porn hobby has been rudely interrupted by flying and crawling things.

I can't go to the grocery store for fear that I have an infestation and they will eat all my food.

When I went to see my parents for a quick visit recently, they brought me a ton of Amish cheese.

All I am eating is cheese.

I can't poop.

Life is grand.

That is all.

Rock and ...What!?

2008-05-07T15:34:00.003-05:00

"Shelter"
Sarah McLachlan

They're crowded into the smallest spaces
While outside, all of nature cries
It's known to be cruel and unfair
But there is no place to hide
Oh, I've seen a part of people that I never really wanted to share
Oh, I've seen a part of people that I never knew was there

Shelter, give them shelter from the coming storm
Shelter, give them shelter from the coming storm

I can't sleep - haunted by their faces
The sadness in their eyes
It hurts so much to see them helpless
It makes me want to cry
But still there is so much left unanswered
For so many innocent lives
They closed the door and are letting nobody in
And only the strong will survive

Shelter, give them shelter from the coming storm
Give them shelter, give them shelter from the coming storm

I've seen the anger and I've seen all the dreams
And I've watched their existence torn apart at the seams
And though I may seem helpless
I will do all that I can do
I've seen a part of people that I never really wanted to share
Oh, I've seen a part of people that I never knew was there

Shelter, give them shelter from the coming storm
Give them shelter, give them shelter from the coming storm
Shelter, give them shelter from the coming storm
Give them shelter, give them shelter from the coming storm

He never did tell me what his problem was.

2008-04-22T13:44:00.002-05:00

Yes folks, it has finally happened. Lothian has finally been cursed out on the phone. I have heard tale of a strange phenomenon where unhappy people phone call centers and curse out the poor working Joe or Josephine answering the call. I have been told that I have a sweet voice and have been able to deescalate a few angry people on my phone calls. However I have never been cursed at. I have only had one person say "this is bullshit", but never directed a me. Well, now I can officially join the ranks.

I started my new schedule at work Monday and was pretty happy about it. Instead of working four 1o hour days, I went to 8 hour days. Instead of working mornings, I am working 3:30-midnight which is more my pace anyway. My first phone call was some old man yelling about his eye drops and he was not very pleasant at all. In fact he told me, "well, there is no reason for me to say thank you since you didn't do anything." Well, sorry sir. I can't move mountains and I certainly can't fill your eye drops and drive them to your house, so deal with it. I just had to shake my head at him since he was 84 and probably going to die soon anyway.

Okay, okay!! I know that is not very nice to say, but sometimes when people are mean ... your brain goes there.

Anyway, the rest of the night was cranky Monday people. Pretty typical until I got Mr sunshine on the line. He demanded that I connect him with the Texas call center. Maybe he doesn't like Ohioans? Anyway, when calls come in they go to the next available representative. This way the member doesn't have to wait forever for assistance. That rep could be in Ohio, Nevada, Tampa or Texas. I have no way of transferring him to a specific center. I simply can't.

After going back and fourth with him telling me this was something I could do, and me telling him "no really, I can't." He yelled "Fuck You! get me to the Texas call center I am tired of this bullshit!" Now, it took all of my super human powers to not tell him where he can shove the Texas call center. As many of you know, I can curse with the best of them. Believe me, if I could have passed his sorry ass off to someone else I would have immediately.

Well ... pass him off is exactly what I did. We are not allowed to offer supervisors, the asshole has to ask for them. However, I am NOT GOING TO BE TREATED LIKE DIRT. I transferred him off and the poor supervisor got an ear full too. Bless her heart, she is a bigger woman than I am because I could never tolerate someone telling me "do as your told, get me to the Texas call center!"

Do as I am told? Aw Hells NO!!

Sorry I haven't been around much lately, but ...

2008-04-18T20:26:00.000-05:00

It was one year ago today.

2008-04-16T12:17:00.004-05:00

an open letter

2008-04-07T15:58:00.004-05:00

Dear Joshua Garmon* of Dennis Hyundai on Morse Road,
I was sorry to not end up buying a car from you when I was in the market for a new car. You seemed like a really nice guy. You told us you were going to school to be a minister and I believe you. I will even confess that I really wanted to buy the Outlander from you.
However, after receiving numerous phone calls from you after you knew I went with another dealer I am really starting to hate your ass. First of all, thank you for offering to move our car while we browsed models. At first, I thought it was really nice of you, until I realized it was all a tactic to get us to come inside when we were ready to leave -- you kept our keys.
I also found it interesting that you "forgot" to give my father back his drivers license after we were done running his credit. It was "miraculously" found the very next day -- so that we would have to come back to the dealership to pick it up. Please don't think I am stupid. I knew what kind of prank you were pulling and it gave me a great thrill to drive up to your dealership in my brand new Kia Rondo.
Do you realize you kept us over 3 hours at that dealership? We told you from the beginning we were not walking out of there with a car, yet you continued to hound us. We told you I could not afford to pay more than $300 a month for payments. Yet, you came back to us with figures in the $400's? We told you I did not want to lease a car, and yet you continued to crunch numbers for a lease. Not only is all of that a waste of our time, but it was a waste of yours as well.
Finally, stop calling me! It is none of your Goddamn business "what kind of deal" Kia gave me. It was better than the one you gave me! It is harassment to continue calling, and rude to ask how much I payed for the car. Originally, I was going to recommend you to others. Not any more. I would have thought that after the first 3 phone calls I didn't return, you would have gotten the point. If you call me just one more time, not only will I report you to your boss, but I will file a complaint with the Better Business Bureau against the entire dealership and your shady tactics.

Got it?!
--Lothian

*his real name and phone number 614-905-9838 (updated phone number)

Click Click click by NKOTB

2008-04-07T12:32:00.002-05:00

Not bad. The lyrics are strange -- "put your face on. Playing with your makeup."

Happy Easter, Ya'll.

2008-03-23T20:31:00.001-05:00

Introducing the Kia Rondo!!

2008-03-23T20:24:00.005-05:00

There is my new pretty car! I don't have a name yet for it, and I haven't decided whether it is a male or female. Post your ideas on car names and I may chose it!!

There is her booty. She is so shiny and clean. I hope she stays that way, damn it.

The long shot of the Rondo. Everyone is teasing me that it is a soccer mom car and I need to have some kids to fill it up with. I think I will just fill it up with hot men.

A blurry photo of me with my new wheels. I suppose it is nice that the photo is blurry as I had just got out of bed and didn't have any makeup on. Yikes!

My car buying co-pilot. My daddy. I don't think I would have been able to make a decision without him. It was so nice to have him here to help. Isn't he a cutie?!

Oh, It's coming bitches!! April 15th, baby!!

2008-03-15T11:40:00.003-05:00

If you all miss out on it this year, don't blame me cuz I am letting you newbies know now.

April 15th.
9pm.
Discovery Channel.

Deadliest "mutha fuckin" Catch!
ooh, my nipples are hard.

Rock and ...What!? (Trying to make myself smile in the wake of all this car drama)

2008-03-15T11:28:00.002-05:00

Cars That Go Boom

by L'Trimm

So many kinds, where can we start?
we like them dumb and we like them smart.
I like the ones with the pretty eyes,
Well i like all kinds of guys.
Stop. What happened, how about the ones we especially like?
Which ones?
You know the ones with the cars that go..
I hear you..
Hit it!

{beat...............}
It was me and the posse with Bunny (D)
We were cruising in the Jags and the Lambourgini,
When low and behold there appeared a mirage,
He was hooking up a car in his daddy's garage.
We stopped short, did a double take,
He was looking so fly, I thought I wasn't awake.
He was obviously hooking up bass, I asume,
But then he turned a little button and the car went boom.

We like the cars, the cars that go boom,
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.
We like the cars, the cars that go boom.
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.

We like them short, and we like them tall,
We like them one, and we like them all.
They're always adding speakers when they find the room,
Cuz they know we like the guys with the cars that go boom.
And see my boyfriend really knows where it's at,
He's got 50 inch woofers all along the back.
He makes a comment on going to my room,
But I'd rather stay out with his car that goes boom.

We like the cars, the cars that go boom,
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.
We like the cars, the cars that go boom.
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.

Now if your car ain't got it, go out and get it,
We like the boom and don't you forget it.
So turn down the treble, and flaunt your bass,
So your car can be heard almost any place.
Cuz when you're in the street you can't go far,
Without hearing the boom pouring out your car.
So if your speaker's weak, then please turn it off,
Coz we like the cars that sound so tough.

We like the cars, the cars that go boom,
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.
We like the cars, the cars that go boom.
We're Tigra and Bunny and we like the boom.

Everybody just beep your horn
Everybody just beep your horn if you hear us,
Now clap!
Hit it!
Beep, beep beep beep beep!
Come on everybody!
Hey, hey hey hey hey!
Beep, beep beep beep beep!
{beat continues......}

Chuck Norris Song - Dave and Jimmy

2008-03-13T15:52:00.002-05:00

No video, but the song cracks me up! The 'idiots' I listen to on the radio every morning made this. Ha Ha! What is your favorite Chuck Norris fact? I like the grinding his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with rage. That's how it do!

Rock and ...What!?

2008-03-09T14:53:00.002-05:00

Bruce Springsteen
"Youngstown"
*I am including this because my sister sent me the link and because it is where I am originally from*

Here in north east Ohio
Back in eighteen-o-three
James and Danny Heaton
Found the ore that was linin' yellow creek
They built a blast furnace
Here along the shore
And they made the cannon balls
That helped the union win the war

Here in Youngstown
Here in Youngstown
My sweet Jenny, I'm sinkin' down
Here darlin' in Youngstown

Well my daddy worked the furnaces
Kept 'em hotter than hell
I come home from 'Nam worked my way to scarfer
A job that'd suit the devil as well
Taconite, coke and limestone
Fed my children and made my pay
Then smokestacks reachin' like the arms of god
Into a beautiful sky of soot and clay

Here in Youngstown
Here in Youngstown
My sweet Jenny, I'm sinkin' down
Here darlin' in Youngstown

Well my daddy come on the Ohio works
When he come home from world war two
Now the yards just scrap and rubble
He said, "Them big boys did what Hitler couldn't do"
These mills they built the tanks and bombs
That won this country's wars
We sent our sons to Korea and Vietnam
Now we're wondering what they were dyin' for

Here in Youngstown
Here in Youngstown
My sweet Jenny, I'm sinkin' down
Here darlin' in Youngstown

From the Monongahela valley
To the Mesabi iron range
To the coal mines of Appalacchia
The story's always the same
Seven-hundred tons of metal a day
Now sir you tell me the world?s changed
Once I made you rich enough
Rich enough to forget my name

In Youngstown
In Youngstown
My sweet Jenny, I'm sinkin' down
Here darlin' in Youngstown

When I die I don't want no part of heaven
I would not do heavens work well
I pray the devil comes and takes me
To stand in the fiery furnaces of hell

It's a snow day miracle, Timmy!

2008-03-09T10:28:00.004-05:00

So, I went to bed last night looking at this:

I woke up to find this:

The snow fairies were hard at work last night I see! Actually, I am pretty sure it was Casey and Nate - two guys who struck up a conversation with me yesterday while I was snapping pictures and checking out the damage.

What kindness!! They didn't tell me they were going to do this, and I never even hinted that I secretly had no fucking clue how I was going to clean all that snow off my car without a shovel. Since I don't know where they live, I am going to have to put up a poster thank you in the lobby so they know their good deed did not go unrecognized.

I feel like "the pretty girl". You know the one, the bitch that men bend over backwards to help out just because they are attractive. The girl that never has to open doors for herself, change her own tire, or clean the snow off her car.

They were cute too. I wonder what I could do to pay them back? Something warm and fuzzy for their cold prickly's perhaps? OH, THAT WAS FILTHY!!

Picture extravamaganza! Columbus Ohio has a blizzard.

2008-03-08T20:35:00.012-05:00

Never mind the dates on the pictures, they are all wrong. Poor Mr. Four wheel drive attempted to leave the parking lot today. He failed.

Picture taken looking outside my window. For once it was not good being on the bottom floor! I even have the screen up in this picture -- the snow ain't moving.

The "Sanford and Son" truck I hate so much. He couldn't help poor Scarlet from any drifting snow, that's for sure!

More pictures of poor Scarlet being covered in snow, and the view out my window.

Last night I cleaned about a foot of snow off my car. Apparently it snowed a little bit during the night. I had to leave that little snow Mohawk on the her roof because I couldn't reach the top. Now she has a Poor little cone head

When folk use the term "blanket of snow" I think this is what they mean.

Reaching out my window and touching the snow. Normally, I can't get anywhere near the ground, even with my ape arms.

The front of my complex. As you can see, the snow is about the height of the bushes there. Pretty, but a mess.

The ass-end of everyone's car here at the complex. This is the side that faces the building. You can't even tell they are actually cars underneath there!

As you can see, Columbus had a bit of snow. I think we ranged anywhere from 10-14 inches. I put the call out to some of my friends to post their pictures, so I will be posting some of those tomorrow. It has been a while since we had this much snow, and I have never been in a situation where the snow went all the way up to my knees!!

It is very beautiful, but I was required to work today and was terrified about driving in this weather. I ended up calling in -- it wasn't worth dying in an accident. Most places in Central Ohio were under either a level 2 or 3 snow emergency. In a level 3, you will be ticketed if you attempt to drive. I think what solidified my decision to not go out was watching the news and seeing NO ONE on the roads and hearing that most accidents were semi's crashing. If the professionals can't drive in it, Ms. Two Door Dodge Neon can't either. Plus, the snow come up to the top of my tires, so even if I wanted to, she wasn't going to budge.

Because it was a rough morning. (sorta NSFW)

2008-03-02T16:59:00.014-05:00

Colin Farrell in all his Oscar glory.

Another one of Colin, just because.

Ryan Reynolds. Shirtless. Do I need a reason to post this?

Angelina Jolie is a twig, I could totally crush her.

Dominic Monaghan. Just one wish: My favorite Hobbit, LOST with me on a deserted island.

David Beckham in his panties. Not stuffed.

Adrien Brody: A fine actor. A fine piece of ass.

007? How about 911?

Becks again. Just because he is nude.

Javier Bardem. And to think I found totally nude shots and I didn't post them!

Where the hell have I been?

2008-03-01T00:49:00.003-05:00

Yeah, I know. I have been missing for a while. I tried posting some videos discussing my hiatus, but apparently I didn't do something right because no one but me could view them. Oh well.

What happened is that I came down with Pneumonia. The urgent care doctor said it was either bronchitis or pneumonia. However, since I didn't respond very quickly to the antibiotics, I am pretty sure it was the latter. I was home sick for an entire week. I went to work on a Saturday, had Sunday off, went to urgent care on Monday and then didn't leave the apartment until Saturday again. I missed 3 days of work. I was so upset that I was going to get fired. Even though I had a doctor's excuse for missing work, I was still worried that since I had missed so many days already I would be fired.

I swear, all that worry and they still haven't said anything to me! My supervisor is a big queen, so I was hoping to work my hag magic on him. However he has yet to bring it up, and I don't go looking for trouble. (Even though it always finds me.)

I ended up having to work on my 30th birthday. I wasn't happy to be turning 30 anyway, and I was really upset because I had been planning on visiting my family until death decided to knock on my damn door. I have since then declared this my 3rd worst birthday ever.

What are the other two?

1) A few years ago I had to have my appendix removed. Luckily it was an urgent situation, but not an emergency situation. I was able to schedule the procedure. The next available (and only available) appointment time was February 23rd. My birthday. Needless to say I had this conversation a lot:

Q - "What is your date of birth, Ms. Lothian?"
A - "February 23rd 1978."
Q- "No not today's date, your date of birth."
A- "Yeah, that IS my date of birth."
Q- "You mean today is your birthday?"
A- "Yep."
Q- "You are having surgery on your BIRTHDAY? Why?"
A- "I thought it would be fun. Why the fuck do you think I am having it today?"

2) I celebrated my birthday in the hospital with my father after he had a massive heart attack and needed surgery. This would have been #1, except by the time my birthday came around his surgery had come and gone and he was expected to make a full recovery. (Which he did) I had spent every waking hour prior and during his surgery worrying about the fact that life would be impossible without him. It broke my heart to see him in so much pain. However, by the time the 23rd rolled around he was feeling much better. A nurse of his who had a beautiful singing voice sang "Happy Birthday" to me. However, his recovery was the best gift I could have gotten that year.

3) Of course, dying from pneumonia made the big 3-0 blow.

All that being said, I can't deny the fact that I did spend some time with Ron, Tim, Laura and Renee on Sunday after my birthday and had a lovely time. Tim made a delicious dinner and the most decadent birthday cake ever. He went out of his way to make me some vegetarian options (like he always does) and toiled in the kitchen for hours. It brought me to tears on the ride home thinking about how much love was in that room that night, and how worried everyone was about my health. Although I loved my gay man pot holder I got from Renee, I loved the love I received even more. The best gift I got was time to spend with my second family.

Rock and ...What!?

2008-03-01T00:45:00.003-05:00

The Offspring
"You gotta' keep 'em separated"

You gotta' keep 'em separated

(Verse 1)

Like the latest fashion
Like a spreading disease
The kids are strappin' on their way to the classroom
Getting weapons with the greatest of ease

The gangs stake their own campus locale
And if they catch you slippin' then it's all over pal
If one guys colors and the others don't mix
They're gonna bash it up, bash it up, bash it up, bash it up...

(Chorus)

Hey - man you talkin' back to me?
Take him out
You gotta keep 'em separated

Hey - man you disrespecting me?
Take him out
You gotta keep 'em separated

Hey they don't pay no mind
If you're under 18 you won't be doing any time
Hey come out and play

(Verse 2)

By the time you hear the siren
It's already too late
One goes to the morgue and the other to jail
One guy's wasted and the other's a waste

*

It goes down the same as the thousand before
No one's getting smarter
No one's learning the score
Your never ending spree of death and violence and hate
Is gonna tie your own rope, tie your own rope, tie your own...

(Chorus)

(Repeat from *)

Random Thoughts

2008-03-01T00:38:00.004-05:00

You know, it is really distracting trying to drive to work when in your peripheral vision is the grossest dropping of bird crap you have ever seen. I kept trying to keep my eyes on the road, but like a bad accident my eyes kept drifting back to the poo. Normally it has hardened and I could just roll my window down to remove it, however it was so substantial and juicy that I simply could not risk having this gift from a bird who clearly had a case of the flu flying into my face. Above is my view from inside.

I took this photo from the outside so that you could throughly enjoy the nuances of color within the poo. It was a poo masterpiece really. I am very impressed with the bird who left it for me. I wouldn't be surprised if it came from one of Steve's eagles.

Odie the Pug -

2008-02-26T20:06:00.001-05:00

We first saw Odie on Montell, now he is back on Letterman. I luv woo too.

Talking pug

2008-02-26T20:01:00.001-05:00

Poor quality video, but I love hearing them tell us what time it is. They kind of sound like my turkey ringtone!

From The Boss to The King. "Little Sister" by Elvis Presley

2008-02-18T19:01:00.003-05:00

Well, I dated your big sister
And took her to a show
I went for some candy
Along came jim dandy
And they snuck right out of the door

Every time I see your sister
Well she's got somebody new
Shes mean and she's evil
Like that old boll weevil
Guess Ill try my luck with you

Well, I used to pull your pigtails
And pinch your turned-up nose
But you been a growin'
And baby, its been showin'
From your head down to your toes

Little sister, don't you
Little sister, don't you
Little sister, don't you kiss me once or twice
Then say its very nice
And then you run

Little sister, don't you
Do what your big sister done

Damn, did I say "upright" or "a fright"? Either way it works.

2008-02-18T18:47:00.003-05:00

What can I say, I am sick. This video should have posted last. Oh well. Also, don't trip and get lost up my nose. Geez Lothian! You are a shitty cinematographer.

Part One

2008-02-18T18:28:00.003-05:00

I have been ugly sick and make a video to prove it! Sorry for how dark it is, it's from my cell phone and if this works I will find a way to make the quality better.

Part Duex

2008-02-18T18:27:00.003-05:00

Again, sorry for how ghastly dark it is! I think though, for your sake, not being able to see me very well is a good thing right now.

Rock and ...What!?

2008-02-15T01:00:00.005-05:00

I was listening to the radio the other day and Peter Gabriel's song "Solsbury Hill" came on. I was driving in snow and ice at the time so I was concentrating and I wasn't belting out the tune like I normally do. I started to realize how poignant the lyrics were. I realized that there are many songs out there that I just blindly sing along with and never really pay attention to what the artist is singing.

Since I love music so much, I decided I would make a new ongoing feature to my blog called "Rock and ... What?!" Basically I want to take songs that I really like and find out the actual lyrics to them. Sometimes the lyrics may be really deep and poetic, lyrics that touched me personally, lyrics I realized are actually really stupid, or lyrics that are just really disturbing once you take them out of context and look at what is being said.

My first exhibit is the song "I'm on fire" by The Boss. I love the song, his voice in it, and the beat. However, looking at the lyrics .... well, let's just say I was kind of taken aback at what I had been singing all these years. I don't want to know what he thinks my daddy will or will not do to me that he can do. Ewww!

"I'm on Fire" by Bruce Springsteen

2008-02-15T00:57:00.003-05:00

Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone
I got a bad desire
I'm on fire

Tell me now baby is he good to you
Can he do to you the things that I do
I can take you higher
I'm on fire

Sometimes it's like someone took a knife baby
edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley
through the middle of my soul

At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
and a freight train running through the
middle of my head
Only you can cool my desire
I'm on fire

Counting train cars.

2008-02-10T02:40:00.000-05:00

...And I just know that I will have a Valentine this year -- for the first time in 30 years.

(*Image taken from PostSecret. Thank you to whomever it was that shares my story.*)

I made it!

2008-02-06T19:56:00.000-05:00

Well, I downgraded my health condition from "death on two legs" to "simply shitty". I made it to work today, but was miserable all day. If I am not wishing I could puke, then my body temperature is at 1,000 degrees, or my stomach is on fire. Toni Sue was kind enough to share that she too has gone through withdrawal symptoms as well. I guess I am just going to have to suck it up. I have the next two days off and may try to see my doctor if I can, otherwise I will remain miserable until I get better or end up in the hospital. ;)

I used the above picture today, because it is a shot of my sexy new phone I got in the mail from Verizon yesterday. My phone is green, but I am now wishing I chose orange. Oh well, typical me I can never make up my mind. I do love that my wallpaper option is a wine glass full of red wine. So me! It is cool though, and I am loving txt messaging now even more!

I also wanted to update everyone on my mom. If you remember, her doctor had us all in a terror because he said she had an over 75% blockage in her carotid artery and that she was in danger of a stroke. She took my advice (which I got from Ron) and got the CAT scan charge lowered so that she could afford to get it done. I really believe it was through your positive thoughts and prayers that when she got her CAT Scan results back they were much better than predicted. It turns out she only has a 15% blockage on one side, and a 51% blockage on the other. Apparently surgery isn't even an option until things get around 80% or so. Thank you all so very much for your support and well wishes. I am a firm believer in the power of positive thought and the power of prayer, and I really think everyone helped this situation turn out for the better.

One pill makes you smaller, one pill makes you tall...

2008-02-05T07:39:00.000-05:00

I should be on my way to work right now. I should be fighting traffic and giggling at the Morning Zoo. I should be fine. However I am not. This is the second day I have had to call off work. Why? To be honest with you, I think I am going through drug withdrawal symptoms.

See, through my job I can get all my generic medications for free. I was taking the generic of Synthroid for a thyroid problem, and generic birth control pills, but my anti-depressant/anti-anxiety drug Effexor XR did not come in generic. However, the non-extended release version of the drug did. To save $30.00 a month, I chose to switch and take the medication twice a day instead of one extended release pill once a day.

I have been very worried about my mood since I was anticipating some sort of gradual change as I adjusted to the new medication. I was a little more weepy than usual, but I assumed that was due to aunt flo. I would have a few manic episodes, but overall my mood seemed pretty level. No thoughts of suicide, and no increase in panic attacks.

I had begun to get more tired and sluggish over the past few weeks, but didn't think much of it. However, this past Saturday night I began to feel really nauseous and developed a fever, and things have been downhill since then. I thought I had caught a bug of some kind. I went online to began researching side effects of Effexor because I have been noticing a certain change in my body that didn't go away over time (I will save you the details). As I was researching I began reading about withdrawal symptoms. Apparently Effexor is a hard ass drug to come off of and has to be done extremely gradually. Since I am a certified web MD, I diagnosed myself as having withdrawal symptoms even though I am still taking the medication, just differently. Fever, digestion problems, heartburn, tiredness, weakness, inability to sleep ... it makes sense.

The worst part is I will feel shitty for a few hours, then feel fine, then feel crappy again. Those times that I feel fine make me feel guilty about calling off work. I just can't bring myself to go to work to say "Thank you for calling, my name is 'Lothian', with whom am I speaking?" in a happy go lucky voice. During the times when I don't feel crappy, I feel like maybe I am just calling off of work because I am depressed. Actually, my life isn't so bad right now. I actually have some money in my bank account, and I am meeting some cute men online at at BBW dating website. The last thing I want to do is get fired from the job that started making things look up for me.

I think I am feeling alright mood-wise, but if any of you know depression, you know how tricky it can be. In the past I have thought I was sick, but all I needed was to get a shower and get out of the apartment. I think all people with depression have a vice -- eating to deal with the pain, smoking, drinking, etc. My vice is that I become a hermit. I need my personal time away from people which is why I could never have a roommate. However, sometimes this self imposed isolation becomes a real and serious side effect of my depression.

I don't know, I am just worried that I am going to have to go back on my old medication. I don't want to be a slave to medication. I understand that I will need to be on medication my whole life, but I don't want my life to be on medication. I see all these people calling in to reorder their medication and they are on 13 or 14 pills. Some people are on 3 or 4 different painkillers, or on one pill to counteract the effects of another pill.

I think many people are being over medicated in this world. Personally, I know my doctor is a pill pusher. I like her, but no matter what I go to see her for, she has a medicine I can take for it. Then we wonder why seemingly perfectly healthy men like Heath Ledger drop dead. No disrespect to him or his family, but didn't he have 2-3 different sleeping pills prescribed to him? I am not saying he was an addict, but what I am saying is maybe our medical community needs to be a little more careful and conscious of what they give us. We put all our faith in doctors to make us better, and I think a lack of time and caring has led them to simply not care as much as they should. (Don't get my started on how many times I hear, "my doctor doesn't fax prescriptions", "He said won't write me a short term supply of medication", "He says he doesn't get paid to call you and discuss drug interactions", "She charges me for every prescription she writes for me", "They don't answer the phones at the clinic or return faxes.")

I know some of you prefer when I write funny or lighthearted things. I am sorry folks, I am just not feeling lighthearted right now. I could go on and on about the price of medication and how sometimes people simply can't afford to take what they need to to live. I could go on and on about Medicare and how it is a crock of shit. I could go on and on about how seeing Jeff Conaway on Celebrity Rehab scares the shit out of me. However, I don't want to bore you. Plus my stomach is turning again and I need to lay down. Hopefully I will be able to drag myself to work on Wednesday -- I simply can't call off anymore.

What's your problem Jumbotron?

2008-02-01T13:01:00.001-05:00

Oh dear God, I am so glad the sexy men of LOST are back, shirtless and wet!

And I thank you for your support.

2008-01-31T23:59:00.000-05:00

So I am a little embarrassed that I haven't been posting as much as I would like to lately. I know some people enjoy reading my blog and check it on a regular basis (hello Jen!) and I always mean to post, I just get distracted.

I decided to steal one of Jen's ideas, tweak it a little, and talk a bit about some of the sites I visit on a regular basis and the people who run them. I have been wanting to post about my new online friendships that I have developed and how they have profoundly affected me. I really appreciate you all and want to thank you for your support and companionship.

The Redneck Romance Writer - Jen, thank you for being such a generous and kind person. You have shown me that not all romance books are trite -- I have 'certain' pages dogeared in my Heart of the Storm book! Your thoughtfulness and compassion has gone beyond anything that I would expect or deserve. I truly hope we can keep in touch for a long, long time.

A Sense of Place - Steve, thank you for showing me that Alaska really is as beautiful as it is in my dreams. Thank you for inspiring me to take more photographs and to see the natural beauty in this world. I thought of you the other day as I was driving down a four lane highway in rush hour. For a quick moment, I happened to glance over to my left and I saw 3 of the most beautiful deer grazing along the side of the road -- I had a wonderful rest of my day knowing that I don't have to escape to Alaska to see beauty (though it would be nice!).

Deadliest Reports - Opilia, thank you for all of your hard work in keeping me up to date on all that is Deadliest Catch. You include some of the most interesting facts and information about Alaska, and you have unintentionally brought many of us together.

Sue's Random Ramblings - Hey girl, we haven't been speaking very long, but I find your site very interesting and fun. You have left some very nice and kind messages on my blog and I really appreciate that. You seem like a lovely person, and I can't wait to get to know you better!

Gigababy's Buffet - Giga (I love calling you that!) thank you for keeping me laughing and crying at the same time. On a serious note, thank you for opening my eyes and making me truly think about the people who are killed everyday in car accidents, and about those who are left behind. I always had a speed problem, but the things that I read on your site were a cold slap in the face to slow down. As a gift to you and all of those who have or have not lost someone to the road, I recently vowed to slow down and become a better, more considerate driver. I may not get to work on time, but at least I get there -- and everyone else does too.

Blah Blah Blog! - I am only including this site because I visit it everyday, however Ron is a "real life" friend as well as an online friend. I have known Ron and Tim for a few years now and they are the best friends I have ever had. I have never felt more loved and taken care of than I do when I am with them. Thank you for your kindness and open hearted nature. Thank you for your support and always being just a phone call away. If I can be half as good of a person and a friend as you guys are, I will be lucky indeed.

There are other sites that I visit everyday but I don't chat with the folks running them. I have come to know the above people and have come to really care for them. If you would have told me a few years ago that I would develop friendships with people from all over the world who I may never meet, I would have thought you were crazy. However, NOW I truly see how wonderful the internet can be.

**...and I promise to post more regularly!**

Big! Bitter! Babe!

Lolz Crabs?

Deadliest Quotes

Deadliest Quotes

Deadliest Catch

Deadliest Quotes

Deadliest Quotes

Deadliest Quotes

Rock and ...What!?

04/14/2009 9 pm. Guess where I will be?

Rock and ...What!?

Mental health

My parents had a baby!

Happy Valentines Day lover!

Very interesting....

Rock and ...What!? (For my dearest, Ron)

Feast or Famine

Nerd post.

Doing pretty well and it isn't even February.

The car drama is finally over

Greatest Ad Placement evah!

Still waiting...

Everybody is doing it

Ah Ha!

The whole story

Merry Fucking Christmas

Sesame Street - ABCDEF...Cookie Monster!

Dean Martin - Baby, It's Cold Outside

Long time, I know.

Deadliest Catch - A Crabby Thanksgiving

Nothing exciting going on in my life, so please visit some of the great places I visit on a daily basis!

The Epitome of a lazy genius!

Customer service rep of the week. THAT is some patience!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Goodbye my dear friend

celebrating the greatest music video EVAH!

Saw things so much clearer

Rock and ...What!?

I promise more post's in the future!!

So lazy, I am making other blogs do all the work.

You don't say?

Attractive AND kind? *sigh* I am kicking Angelina's ass.

A love letter

I'm a little cranky today.

Sarah Palin vs/ Hillary Clinton

HILDA! The sexiest pin-up from the 1950's and 1960's. God bless you Duane Bryers!

Rock and ...What!?

The Stolen Child by W.B. Yeats

Solidarity Forever (Pete Seeger)

Phew!

She's crafty!

Miss me?

For your information,

I didn't mean to leave you hanging ...

Someone call Miss Cleo!

I am VERY disappointed!

Rock and ...What!?

Maria Hulyk

These Dreams

Rock and ...What!? (in honor of above post)

Happy Fourth of July. I am feeling very patriotic.

You all lose. I have the best Daddy in the world.

Feeling a little better today

Something is wrong

Home for Memorial Day!

THESE bitches are fat and fab!!

To the producers of Deadliest Catch:

SO, what do you think?

Random posting at 1 a.m.

Rock and ...What!?

He never did tell me what his problem was.

Sorry I haven't been around much lately, but ...

It was one year ago today.

an open letter

Click Click click by NKOTB

Happy Easter, Ya'll.

Introducing the Kia Rondo!!

Oh, It's coming bitches!! April 15th, baby!!

Rock and ...What!? (Trying to make myself smile in the wake of all this car drama)

Chuck Norris Song - Dave and Jimmy

Attractive AND kind? sigh I am kicking Angelina's ass.